i’ve been staring at the screen for a long time before i got to think of what to say..so many things have happened in a short span of time and i don’t know where to start..and eto na naman ako..natitigilan..nde ko malaman ang isusulat ko..*sigh* first..i retract what i said about having gimiks every weekend..because after our Christmas party/2nd Reunion nde na kami nagkakita kita uli ng mga hs friends ko..i attempted to set up a get-together..unfortunately, puro mga busy na sila..kanya kanya na muna..well except for me, who went back to being the introvert that she was..nawalan na naman ako ng reason to be out on a saturday night..at first nahirapan ako..sobrang nasanay ako to be always out on a saturday night that i’m really getting bored out of my mind & dunno what else to do on a night na dati is spent hanging out with friends..sobrang na-sad talaga ako..parang natapos lang ang reunion…pati ung get-togethers namin nawala na din..but what can i do naman di ba..so i went back to my usual Friday gimiks with my other friends..
one other thing is Chandler..i’m giving up on him..yeah you read it right..ayoko na..i’m tired..i don’t wanna waste any more time on something that i feel na wala naman kararatingan na..i was really taken aback by the sudden change in him..from being this very sweet guy to being this very distant person..i have no idea what happened and when i asked him ang layo ng sagot nya..so that leaves me so clueless..yun pa naman ung pinaka-ayoko na feeling..so i gave him a few days..bakasakali lang na bumalik pa whatever we had..there was a time na i thought it was..pero it was just one day..after it..kaput na..so i said to myself..stop it..last week there was a party..get-together kaming friends..i really dolled up..i want him to see & remember me looking like that kasi it will be the last time that he’ll be seeing me..he’ll be talking to me..because i won’t talk to him na talaga..well just for now..kahit pano we’re still part of the same group of friends..i can’t ignore him totally without our friends asking too many questions..basta i just want to disappear on him..for now..sabi sakin nung isang guy friend ko, wag daw ako magtago..pano if we’re thinking the same thing..malay ko daw nagpapamiss lang pala cya..and thinking of what he really feels for me..kasi cya ganun daw cya before..merong mga guys daw talaga na sweet sweet then after some time biglang mawawala kasi they are thinking of what to do next na..so now, what do i have to do? wait on him?! till when?! i’m tired of waiting..all my life all i did was wait..*sigh*
and now i just learned that Nathan already has a girlfriend..shucks! a year passed..and i just let him passed by me! ugh! am so stupid kasi..if only i can turn back time..if only that night nde umurong ang dila ko at nde ako napipi..*sigh* what might have been…*sigh*
when will it be me?! *sigh*